**EDIT: For those of you reading this after reading the post titled "i can do this for the Lord & get away with it", I do not regret this decision to get baptized. I think my desire to go deeper in my relationship with Christ was evident, and I am thankful for this decision because in a sense, I think it led me to the Church.**
12/5/2019. My dunk. His glory.
What is a dunk day you ask? It is not, in fact an activity where professors throw water at their students, nor is it a campus wide basketball tournament. Though when I first heard this phrase these were my initial thoughts. It IS, however the day I got baptized. Wow. What a day.
The evening of December 5th was incredible & I want to capture every moment so I don't forget a SECOND of it. I suppose I'll start with why I decided to get baptized in the first place.
First of all, baptism is, by no means, required to get you into heaven. It doesn't get you into heaven at all, really. It is an outward declaration that your life is in the hands of the Creator of the stars & moon.
I was baptized as a baby. This was a commitment from my parents & my church to raise me as a follower of Christ. I am so thankful for that, & that my parents were dedicated to that promise.
I have always loved watching others get baptized. There is such a joy that surrounds the time. It is so incredible to hear testimonies & see how God has worked through someone's life. There is always so much joy, love, & adoration of the Father on the faces of people right after they've been ~dunked~ & it radiates out of them.
I think part of me has wanted to be baptized for a while, but I suppressed that because I'm supposed to be a Christian, right? To get baptized would be like me saying I wasn't good enough.
Uh hold on what? Come again?
Isn't that what I'm supposed to say EVERY SINGLE DAY????
I am, in fact, NOT good enough & I need the Father to sustain me through each & every breath.
I was so scared that getting baptized would be seen as a weakness.
Dear Past Allison, YOU WERE SO DANG WRONG HAHAHAH NOT EVEN CLOSE !!!!
When Baptism Night was first mentioned at Challenge I was a little interested, but I refused to admit that. I suppressed the obvious nudge from the Father because of my own selfishness.
Then a few weeks before Thanksgiving break, Miss Mary Ann Wurmy & I were at church (UCC - can't say enough good things WOW I LOVE THAT PLACE) & it was Baptism Sunday. There were several people that had signed up to be baptized, but there was also an open invitation. If people felt called they could waltz right down the aisle straight into the tank. This happened at all three services.
Between baptisms we sang worship songs. It was simply incredible. Then that same little nudge that I had at Challenge came. I kinda cried a lil bit. (that's a normal thing for me don't be alarmed) I knew He was pushing me to got ahead & get DUNKED. Part of me wanted to head straight to the tank, but another piece of me wanted to wait for others to be there. I felt a little guilty for a little bit for not immediately heading down, but here's the thing: baptism is a public profession of faith, & I wanted the people that helped me get to this point there with me.
I immediately called sweet Erin up. I told her I wanted to get baptized. However, here's the sitch. This was at the end of November, & the deadline to sign up was WEEKS ago. To be honest I didn't think they would tell me I couldn't be baptized though.....
Like "hello sorry ma'am we cannot allow you to be dunked due to the fact that you missed a deadline. Minus 10 holy points for you. Maybe try again another time." ??? Yeah no.
(It turns out that the whole process is a little extensive through Challenge, so I completely understand if they would have said no, but PRAISE JESUS THEY DID NOT!!!!)
So I met up with Erin right before heading home break, went over what exactly baptism is, & whalah, I was in.
So what exactly is baptism to me? It is a physical representation of what happened in my heart. A symbol that the mistakes I have made & will continue to make are atoned for. His grace washes over me the same way the water did. I am immersed in his love again & again. It was a public declaration that my life is no longer in my hands & that's my own personal choice.
Guys.
That's such a freeing thought.
When I came back from break I was so excited. IT WAS DUNK WEEK!!!! I didn't learn this tricky terminology until Chloe texted me "happy dunk week"... I was so incredibly confused & I wondered what I deserved to have water thrown at me...
What a little pledge I am...
ANYWHO
Tuesday I filmed my video & I felt ALL the feels. I sat in a ~throne~ while two cameras stared me straight in the face. There were two big lights that reminded me of the ones on picture day. This was the real deal. David & Matt, the two that videoed me, were so kind & relaxed. I was so comfortable.
Erin sat right behind one of the cameras, so I simply had to tell her my story. David asked her to pray for me before we started & what do ya know.. I CRIED. I was quickly handed a box of Kleenexes, so I was able to dab (HA) my eyes periodically.
Thus the testimony telling began. I sobbed through the whole thing. It's not that my testimony is particularly sad, but I get so emotional when I think about how kind our Father is. He worked so faithfully & diligently in my life & it brings me to tears every time I talk about it. I don't know what I did to deserve a Creator who cares for me so well & provides for my every need despite my shortcomings. It's incredible. His work in my life is so evident to me. I've been studying for my public speaking final (ha nerd) & one of the terms is "testimony". The definition? Using the words of other people as evidence. How cool is that? My testimony is EVIDENCE of Jesus. Thank you God for the Gospel. Thank you for Jesus.
After telling my story the hard part was over. The only thing left was to make it a reality. Hashtag exciting.
Wednesday flew by let me tell ya.
Thursday. Dunk day. Baptism night. Wow.
I got to Forum Hall & we walked through what the service would entail. Then people started showing up. The auditorium began filling with people. I found people I loved & the hugs & joy & kindness were unreal. Sweet sweet individuals gave me Dunkin' Donuts because I was getting DUNKED!!
Finally it was time for the service to start, & we began with worship as always. Wow. So good. Praising the Highest King with genuine song is so incredible. Part of the time I couldn't even sing, all I could do was say "thank you Jesus."
My dear family lives four not so short hours away from Manhattan, & by no means did I expect them to make the drive. However, I still wanted them involved. So my dear Mary Ann facetimed them so they could watch in real time.
It was very surreal. I don't know how many people were there but I can say for a fact it was more than 10. (Enough to fill an entire auditorium) Other than that I'm not sure. Knowing that that many people were about to see me in an incredibly vulnerable state & hear my testimony was quite honestly terrifying. It hadn't really hit me until that moment. But also it was so sweet. I had to stop for a second & pray that God would use my story to work in someone else's life.
I was the last baptism, so I got to hear all nine other testimonies before I went. They were amazing. God is amazing. The way He works is so mysterious & wonderful.
My chest got tight & I was nervous. Erin took my hand, & then it was my turn. Walking down to the tank was so nerve-wracking & exciting all at the same time. However, the second I stepped into the water I felt a peace like no other. Tears were pouring down my face, but I was so full of Jesus.
As Erin & I sat in the tank while we, along with everyone else there, watched me on screen as I told my story. My life before Christ, what brought me to Christ, & where He is leading me now. Thank you Jesus. I wish I could find better words, but all I can say is thank you.
After the video Erin asked me a couple of questions, & I basically declared I believe Jesus is the True Son of God sent to save us from our sins.
Then as tears poured down my face she smiled & dunked me under. When I came up all I could do was smile. Pure & genuine joy. Jesus was quite literally shining out of me. I am crying as I sit here writing this. That joy is unlike any I've ever felt. As the people in there cheered I felt God wrap His loving arms around me.
I am actually sitting here at a loss of words. God is so good. So many good hugs. I don't even know what to write next.
Except Jesus is so good.....
After SEVERAL more hugs Erin & I went & changed.
We reentered for one last worship song. "Yes I Will" by Vertical Worship. How fitting.
"And I choose to praise,
To glorify, glorify
The name of all names
That nothing can stand against."
The service ended & I was in awe of His perfect timing & workmanship.
People from high school were some of the first to come speak with me. Wow. That was so encouraging. It's so cool to watch God at work.
Then I think the most surprising thing happened. My macroeconomics GTA came up to me. I had no words. I had no clue she was a Christian. Come to find out she is friends with one of the women that is in charge of Challenge. My sweet GTA came specifically to support me. WOW GOD I SEE YOU!!!!!! Elif, if you ever see this, please know that that simple act meant more to me than I could ever express. Thank you & thank you Jesus.
I spent the next hour or so giving hugs, getting hugs, crying, & celebrating Jesus. People are so kind & so sweet. My heart is so full of words, but I don't even know where to begin. The people I have met here have quickly become some of the dearest people in my life. They point me to Jesus & love me so well.
I received so many kind messages. Their kindness was so appreciated, but many of them mentioned that my story moved them in some way. That's what hit the most. God is using my story & I trust in that.
Since then so many random people around campus have told me how much of an impact my story has had on them. In coffee shops, McDonalds, the dining hall, at work, and in classes, people have mentioned this to me. I think that is SO incredible.
I think I could write pages about this night, but I'll leave it at this.
To Chloe, Grace, & Erin: thank you for loving me well. Thank you for being walking examples of Christ each & every day. Thank you for being a single text or call away. Thank you for walking through this season of life with me. Thank you for being people I can call true friends.
To my Roots group: thank you for being a safe place. Thank you for allowing me to be vulnerable. Thank you for pulling me in with open arms.
To my family: thank you for being so supportive as I take each new step. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for encouraging me even from four hours away. Thank you for raising me to love Jesus.
To the people that were there & the people that are reading this: thank you for your support. Thank you for allowing me to love Jesus so freely.
To God: the glory is Yours. Take it all.
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