HELLO PALS!!! IT IS I!! BACK AGAIN TO TELL YOU ABOUT MY LIFE & HOW COOL JESUS IS ALL AT THE SAME TIME!!!!
Break has been so lovely & I have had so much time to reflect on this past year. I don't want to sound cliché, but 2019 was truly my favorite year of life thus far. Was it difficult at times? YOU BETCHA. But was there growth, joy, & grace through the difficulty? YOU BETTER BET YOUR BUTTONS THERE WAS. I finished high school, graduated, served others, rediscovered Jesus, changed majors, loved people, changed majors again, met incredibly lovely humans, stayed up too late, drank lots of coffee, slept in, woke up early, drove hours & hours, and just plain lived life.
Guys. It was the best.
As I think back on 2019, I can call to mind SEVERAL lessons the Lord was teaching me & I wanted to share those. SO without further ado, here are 19 tendy lil lessons I learned in the Year of our Lord 2019. :)))
Lesson #1: Change & discomfort should be embraced.
I know I've alluded to this in previous blog posts, but when I dove head first into uncomfortable situations I experienced growth like never before. Moving to Manhattan terrified me. I was comfortable at home with people I knew. HOWEVER I'd like to dare to say that when I finally got to Kansas State I flourished. Had I shied away from experiences the moment I recognized change, I don't even want to think about where I'd be. Meeting people was uncomfortable. Living in the dorms was uncomfortable. Walking to class with a few THOUSAND other individuals was uncomfortable. Not being with my family was uncomfortable. But I LOVE the life I'm living now & it is thanks to the change that happened that I am where I am.
Can we take another second to look at the heart change I experienced? I am in pursuit of a life that is full send for Jesus. Imagine if THAT change never happened. Change is good. Change is growth. Change is accepting that things will be different. Through the midst of it all, though, there is one thing that is NEVER changing. The One who placed the stars in the sky is constant. His love, grace, & mercy are constant. He doesn't change & somehow that makes my change all the more inviting.
Lesson #2: Disagreeing can be a BEAUTIFUL thing.
I know what every single one of you guys (except you b may hehe love you) are thinking: "THIS WOMAN IS OFF HER ROCKER DISAGREEING SUCKS." Well this is what I have to say about that. Disagreement opens conversation up for so much respect. It allows you to see things from someone else's perspective. It doesn't have to be ugly & it allows room for grace to move in. It says "I disagree, but I love you & I respect you regardless."
Sweet Bridget May & I rarely get through a conversation (& we spend just about every day on facetime whoops) without having a wild disagreement about deep theological issues. We rarely resolve anything, but I love her deeper because of it. We understand what has molded each other into who we are today. It's NOT always easy to hold my tongue if I'm being quite honest. However, just because we don't see eye to eye doesn't mean we can't love & respect each other FIERCELY.
Lesson #3: The Lord ACTUALLY knows what is best for me.
Crazy, huh. The moment I let go of what I thought was best & placed my life in the hands of the Creator I saw radical change. I admit it, I'm selfish. I think I know what's best. I want my life to fit the game plan I already have written. But the situation is... I DON'T know what's best. Instead, I can turn that over to God & trust that He is working for my good & His glory. I don't think I need to elaborate anymore here.
Lesson #4: Despite popular belief, too much coffee does not exist.
Bluestem Bistro in Manhattan walked in & utterly SHOOK MY WORLD. It is the single best place in the universe to meet up with my favorite humans & simply talk life. (or cross stitch hashtag iykyk Chloe Gaug) I could drink cups & cups & cups & never grow tired of the sweet hazelnut taste of my Frangelica coffee. Shoutout to the 'Stem for the $1 coffees because we all KNOW ya girl couldn't afford to feed her addiction if it wasn't CHEAPO!!!! WE LOVE WOMEN IN STEM!!!
Lesson #5: There are times when I should talk to God, & there are times when I should simply take a step back & listen.
This is one of those difficult lessons. This was a little harder to learn & a lot harder to accept. Sometimes I need to talk to God. I need to ask for wisdom, lift someone up in prayer, confess sins, or say anything else on my heart.
But there are other times. There are times when silence speaks loudest. There are times when I need to quiet my heart & listen to what the Lord has to say to me. It turns out His opinion is the only one that matters & the only one I should listen to & I only know what He is saying when I stop trying to speak over Him. Like I said, this was not an easy lesson. For example, when I was trying to decide where to work this summer there were two STELLAR options on the table. I kept asking God to show me where He was leading, but it was a long time before I paused to listen to His answer. I was caught in confusion, but I KNOW my God is not a God of confusion. He answered my prayer fully & faithfully just as I asked, but He did it when I recognized that He deserved my full attention & nothing less.
Lesson #6: Family is truly one of the most precious things in my life.
I don't think I realized how much I missed them until I returned home. My trips home, though few in number, have been so rich. The lovely humans back home love & support me unconditionally & I couldn't ask for more. Mom, Dad, Natalie, Anna, Grandma & Grandpa, Grandma Billie, aunts, uncles, cousins, & anyone else I missed... I'm talking about you. There were times while at home I could've easily gone out, but I was perfectly content to sit with the people who raised me & shaped me into who I am today. They are precious & truly a gift from God.
Lesson #7: Children have so many lessons to teach.
Wow. Just wow. This summer I had the opportunity to serve on a mission trip that went to Arcadia, Kansas. Arcadia is on the eastern Kansas border & I quite literally walked six blocks & was in Missouri. Arcadia has a population of 311 & it is the second poorest town in our state.
Guys, some of the houses lacked roofs. There were tarps and plastic sheets covering windows. The only business in town was the city building. Plumbing & electricity were luxuries few could afford. They ARE luxuries few CAN afford. This is happening in the present tense. The hardest part? This is happening in my OWN STATE.
We walked through the streets inviting individuals to come to worship & bring their kids to our Vacation Bible School. (WE LOVE VBS CAN I GET A HOOP & A HOLLER) The kiddos that walked outside were covered in dirt & they came to church exactly like that. Each day they showed up in the same clothes, just progressively dirtier. But ya know what? They didn't care a bit. They loved aggressively & they hungered for a deep love in return. They were full of energy & their faces lit up the room. They desired more & they gave of themselves willingly. Jesus calls us to live child-like lives, & it has never been more clear to me what that looks like than that week. They had almost nothing, yet they lived life fully. Wow. Lessons from an 8 year old...
Lesson #8: He answers prayer more faithfully & fully than I ever could have imagined.
I could go on here forever. Scripture says if we ask we will RECIEVE & BOY DOES HE PROVIDE!!! The biggest example that comes to mind, of course, is community. Everywhere I turn I am surrounded by other people recklessly pursuing Jesus & let me tell ya... it's beautiful, encouraging, uplifting, refreshing, & all of the things in between. He will NEVER fail & THAT is a promise we can count on.
Lesson #9: There is POWER in community.
I kinda hit on this already, but it is so much easier to live a life that resembles Christ's when there are others walking with me. This is not to say that there aren't times when I feel alone, but even if I feel alone I know I am not. My Bible study leaders, the other girls in my group, my friends in Challenge, my Christian friends NOT in Challenge, & so many others provide a lift just when I need it most. Praise Jesus for community. Jesus didn't walk through this life alone because we simply weren't CREATED to do it alone.
Lesson #10: Just because I don't feel God's presence does NOT mean He is not walking hand in hand with me.
DING DING DING!!! DIFFICULT LESSON COMING UP!!!! Sometimes I get so caught up in the feeling that I get when I'm worshipping or the chills that go up my arms when I hear the Lord speaking. I forget that even when I don't physically feel the Lord He is still real & present in my life. I can't forget that for even a second or I'm in #trouble.
He is just as present on my walks between classes as He is when I am in church on Sunday morning. He is just as real when I am working in the dining hall as He is during Bible study. He is just as active when I am studying homework at Bluestem as He is when I am studying His Word in my dorm room. His presence is not dependent on my situation. He provides rest 24/7 & THAT my friends, is pretty dang cool.
Lesson #11: Patience is a virtue.
This pretty well explains itself. I will admit, there was a time when I didn't pray for patience because I KNEW the Lord would provide opportunities for me to practice it HAHAHAHA wut. That was BIG DUMB. Patience is a virtue & I am working on learning what it looks like to lead a life filled with patience. Patience for others, for myself, but most importantly for God.
One of my favorite worship songs is "I Will Wait For You" & I absolutely love the lyrics.
"I will wait for You,
I will wait for You
On Your Word I will rely.
I will wait for You,
I will wait for You
Till my soul is satisfied."
What a picture of patience. This is my prayer for this coming year, that I would EMBRACE patience.
Lesson #12: Breakfast dates are a gift from GOD.
Again, I don't think I really need to explain this one. Breakfast dates are the single purest & most genuine form of hanging out & I will stand by that statement until I die thank you & goodnight. If you have never gotten breakfast out with anyone I AM BEGGING YOU TO DO IT FOR YOUR OWN SANITY & PERSONAL HEALTH YOU WILL NOT BE DISAPPOINTED.
Lesson #13: Worldliness is exhausting.
What the heck even is drama & WHY DO WE CARE SO MUCH???!!! I absolutely love my tiny town, but gossip is the name of the game. Trying to keep up with the world is exhausting & simply not worth it. Jesus is rest, so why would I even WANT to look anywhere else? I'm going to leave this at that.
Lesson #14: Spontaneity should be embraced.
There is a certain beauty in having absolutely no plans whatsoever. Some of my favorite memories in Manhattan so far have happened when I had no plans & just went with it. Structure can get in the way & it's okay to not know what is going to happen next. In true Miley Cyrus fashion, I'd like to say "it's the climb."
Lesson #15: It's okay that I am not the same person I was in high school.
I struggled with this a little bit before I came home which is CRAZY because the person I am now is so much more confident in Christ than I ever was before. However, I realized that part of my story is the change. Walking into my high school reminded me just how thankful I am for how I've seen the Lord move. It is MORE than okay that I am different that who I was. I am being molded into the person God MADE ME TO BE! There is no regret, shame, or fear in that.
Lesson #16: Vulnerability is the foundation for genuine friendships.
I could tell story after story about how I've seen this lesson manifest itself in my life, but this post is already getting a little long so I'll spare the details. I have made the truest friends I have ever known since I've begun to open up & share my true self. At the same time, I am able to be a better friend to OTHERS when they are vulnerable with me. Let me tell ya first hand, vulnerability is SCARY but so incredibly fulfilling. The most vulnerable moment in my life was when my testimony played in front of hundreds of people at Christian Challenge, but one of the most genuine friendships of my life has come from my willingness to open up. Was it terrifying? Yes. Worth every second? A thousand times yes.
Lesson #17: Worship songs were written to be sung at the top of my lungs with hands lifted high praising the One who deserves all glory.
A younger Allison would have been scared to sing loudly or lift her hands during worship because she was scared of what other people would think of her. She didn't want people to think she was too into it because she wanted to be ~cool~ …. oh dear....
GUESS WHAT YOUNGER ALLISON
YOU'RE NOT WORSHIPPING THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU YOU'RE WORSHIPPING THE GUY WHO LITERALLY DIED ON A CROSS FOR YOU SO WHY THE HECKITY HECK DOES IT MATTER WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK OH WAIT IT DOESN'T GO AHEAD & SCREAM YOUR PRAISE & LIFT YOUR HANDS & STAND IN AWE BEFORE THE ONE WHO GAVE IT ALL BECAUSE HE DESERVES IT!!!!!!!!
Freely worshipping is a gift, one that I am thankful for daily, & I will continue to shout my praise because He alone is worthy.
Lesson #18: Hair is just that.. hair. & it was MADE to be cut off.
I talked about chopping my hair off for a solid YEAR before I finally grew up enough to walk in & let someone use some fancy scissors on me. WOAH. I dropped a foot of hair & along with that a couple pounds & I am currently IN LOVE with short hair. (Mostly because I can use less conditioner hehehe) ANYWHO WHAT A LESSON! Scary things are not really scary when you just grow up & do them!!!
P.S. Hey Samson, I know when you cut your hair it wasn't really a great thing for ya but luckily we're in different situations!! Sorry buddy!!
Lesson #19: Jesus is worth absolutely everything. Hands down.
This. This right here. This is the main takeaway of two thousand nineteen. I want to lead a life of whole-hearted pursuit of Jesus. Whatever worldly things I may lose pale in comparison to the glory of my King. Today, tomorrow, & everyday I choose to trade them for Jesus. This is not me saying that 2020 will easy... This is me saying that I have seen firsthand that Jesus is worth everything & I will strive to live my life in such a way that reflects that.
2019 was beautiful. I pray that the Father will move as mightily in 2020 as He did in the past, & I trust that He will. I know that He will. In 2020 I want to be like a daisy - simple &
always growing toward the Son. For now, I'll press into that.
Happy New Year !! I love you all !! XOXOXO !!
Allison
