Before I get too far, I want to write out "my story" as far as where I've been & where He's leading me. Right now I'm not sure how raw & deep I'm going to get. Regardless, I'll be real. I can promise you that.
I've got a couple of different stories I want to share, & though they may not seem to intertwine, they do. & even better? They both display His sovereignty.
Let's start with my career life. Am I allowed to say professional life? I don't know but that makes me feel weird & oddly grown up, & let's face it, I'm not quite ready to grow up. Career life it is. & I'll weave my personal life into the middle.
Ever since 7th grade I have known one thing & one thing only. (Disclaimer: I have, in fact, known a few more things since 7th grade than just this) I was going to go to vet school. If you knew me at all in high school, you knew this to be true. My future was my life. I did job shadows, structured my schedule to take as many ag classes as I could, worked at the vet clinic, did research over the lack of veterinarians, the list goes on & on. I was PASSIONATE.
Now pause for a minute & think about what my life would have looked like if I was as passionate about serving Christ as I was about serving my own future.
When I look back on high school, I'd say I lived a double life. Not in the sense many of you may be thinking. (Again, I'm trying not to care what you think so HA) I wasn't in the party scene, but that doesn't mean I wasn't sinning. Full disclosure: I'm STILL sinning, because, well.... I'm a HUMAN. That's my HUMAN nature. God straight up tells us that & calls us out.
Romans 3:23 literally says, "For ALL have sinned & fall short of the glory of God."
Come again?
Just because our sins are different doesn't mean they don't exist. No one is exempt from having sinful desires, & I'd like to go out on a limb here & say I'm a prime example. Hello.
BUT AGAIN I SAY: GOD'S GRACE IS ENOUGH & IT WASHES OVER US DAILY!!!!!!
I appeared to be walking a Christian life, & I was doing exactly that. You see, there's a difference between walking a Christian life & walking with Christ. I picked option A.
Walking WITH Christ would have meant surrendering too much of myself. It would have meant giving up my selfish desires. I was scared of what people would say if my life looked radically different. So I picked what would make me look best. I portrayed the best IMAGE of myself.
There's actually a word for this. (I learned it in my public speaking class, so shoutout to Mr. H for actually teaching me a little somethin') It's called facework. Basically it means we try to show the best versions of ourselves in all situations.
I was a pro.
I walked a Christian life.
I did not walk with Christ.
So there I was, dead set on becoming a vet, because, hello, that's what I wanted. When it came time to start finding a college, I was torn between KSU & OSU. Each have incredibly solid vet schools, & I couldn't decide for a really long time, until all of a sudden I knew I needed to be in Manhattan when I started my freshman year of school. I wasn't sure exactly why, & I couldn't quite put my finger on it. However, now I can confidently tell you that was God. He knew I needed to be here.
Boy, was He right. Crazy isn't it? His plan is perfect. We doubt, yet He is sovereign still.
The summer after graduation I served at church camp. I got to spend the week loving kids, & God began to work. I actually had to leave camp for a morning to come to Manhattan & enroll in all of my ag classes & that was certainly not the time of my life.
Then two weeks after church camp I had the privilege of going to Arcadia, Kansas on a mission trip. I fell in love with the children there. I absolutely adored them. Then, one night during worship, I broke DOWN. I mean tears were FLOWING. God was tugging on my heart & He was tugging hard.
He was calling me to work with children.
Not just for the rest of my week, but for the rest of my life.
Hold on.
What did this mean?
Was all of high school for nothing?
My head was SPINNING.
I had to let go. I had to admit that the plans I had for myself did not align with the plans He has for me. I had to surrender myself. It was time to stop walking a Christian life & start walking with Christ hand in hand. (Let me tell you - BEST DECISION EVER)
Elementary education.
Telling my parents was hard, I mean HARD. How was I supposed to tell them that everything I had planned for the past six years was out the door? Let me just tell you, they were INCREDIBLY gracious. I will be forever thankful for the love & support they showed me.
& something even crazier? This has stuck with me & I am sure I will NEVER forget what my dad said to me. He looked at me & said, "As soon as you left, I told your mother that I wouldn't be surprised if you came home & had different plans for your future."
Guys.
God was preparing my parents' hearts before I even GOT to Arcadia.
What an incredible Father we serve. He revealed Himself to me smack dab in the middle of my selfishness.
I called Kansas State, and within ten minutes it was a done deal. I was an elementary education major with intentions of teaching 3rd through 5th graders. My mission is to love kids & love them well. They are PRECIOUS.
However, a couple weeks later, I had the privilege of going to Wichita for a family's going away party. To where? Albania. Like the country. In Europe. My best friend's sister was LEAVING. (Hey Addie I love you by the way) Lora & Nathan Welsh, along with their months old baby Judson were preparing to go overseas & serve in the long-term mission field.
Pause.
Add them to your prayer list. Also, Lora & Nathan if you're reading this, I love you guys & I have had the opportunity to tell so many people about you!!! LOVE YOU!!!
Resume.
I sat in their living room & talked with them for hours before I said my final goodbyes, & Lora, a speech pathologist herself, shared about her job with me.
I felt the same little nudge inside, & I knew the Lord was pushing me toward this. As a speech pathologist I will get to love kids one on one & get to truly know their hearts while simultaneously watching & helping them grow tremendously.
A dream.
I went home, told my parents, & switched my major three days before classes started.
I chose KSU for the vet program, but stayed for Jesus. At a conference I went to in September the preacher said that sometimes God works on the road to GET to the destination. We may never reach the intended destination, but that doesn't mean He isn't incredibly present the entire time. Ugh. So beautiful.
I am currently a communication sciences & disorders major & I plan on getting my masters in speech pathology. This is not the life I planned for myself, but it is so much more than what I could have imagined. He has a perfect plan & He is working everything for good.
& I GET to serve Him.
That's where I'm at. He met me in my mess. When I was so wrapped up in myself He extended His perfect grace & I couldn't be more thankful.
& the coolest thing is He does it day after day.
That's all I've got for now.
Love ya,
Allison